This morning I got an e-mail from a student who’s in the middle of writing an amazing memoir, wonderfully written, gripping subject etc. She wrote me that she’d just discovered that a book on the same subject had been published and wondered if she should give up on hers. I wrote back : Keep going! There are thousands of books out there on the same subject. There’s nothing new under the sun, just different takes on the same stuff. She replied: “I guess I am tormented, still, by the thought of why bother when there is so much out there that is so fantastic. The little voices who whisper that memoirs are ridiculous, etc. etc. I guess I’ll have to put my head down and keep going.”

We’re all hearing those little whispering voices, and often are tormented by the fact that there is so much wonderful writing out there already, why bother? I really identified with my student because yesterday I printed out copies of the manuscript for my new writing book and got on the writer’s roller coaster. The pages of my manuscript came out of my printer warm. It was like a baby or something. (“Feel it!” I said to my husband, who looked alarmed as I shoved pages at him.) The printer gave off this really serious ink smell. It was a mini publishing event. All these years of teaching and writing had turned into a manuscript that’s going to be published for real next October.

And then in the middle of feeling so pleased with all of this, I got cold feet. I suddenly realized the whole book was just the sickening sound of my own voice going on and on and on about my own writing and what the readers should do with their writing. Why did I ever write it? What would anyone ever get out of it? etc. etc. But being on familiar terms with my own critic, I didn’t burn the copies in a fit of drama and anguish, I placed them in envelopes addressed to writers who I hoped would like the book enough to give my publisher good comments for the cover. Then I drove to the post office, telling myself that after two years of work, surely the book wasn’t all that embarrassing and terrible. I paid $26.43 for postage and off my pages went. It was out of my hands for the time being. My critic was silent.

When your critic gets loud, take action. Either write more, or take what you’ve written and just send it out. I think we all have fantasies about real writers – how they’ve written the last word on absolutely everything, how confident they are, and how they take for granted their book getting published. But the truth is most writers are on their own little personal roller coaster – going from: What a fabulous idea this is! to: Oh, my God, this is so awful I can’t let anybody see it. The more you write the more you get used to riding your own roller coaster. It just comes with the territory.

To Do: Find something you’ve stashed away in your files to send out, or start writing an essay or a book proposal or a story to send out. Mail it to another writer friend if you’re just beginning, or if you have a lot of half finished essays or stories in your files, finish one and send it to a newspaper or magazine. Getting published won’t change your life, but it will make you feel more like a writer. (So should getting a rejection slip. Remember: a rejection slip is really a very private experience. No one else will know about it unless you tell them. All writers get rejection slips. This too comes with the territory.)