I have blog block, the cyberspace version of writers block. Sick to death of the sound of my own voice going on and on about writing, I have nothing to say to you. Nothing to write. So in class this week I asked my students what they’d like to read on this blog and here are some questions they wanted me to address:

What is my discipline for my own writing?  I don’t know if I’m disciplined or not; I do know that I get my writing done and meet deadlines because I’d feel miserable if I didn’t. I don’t do this gracefully (see above re: blog block) but I do it. I think it’s more about being stubborn than discipline.

Why do I flinch over the term “fictionalized memoir”? Because I believe  memoir is the truth to the best of the writer’s memory, but all bets are off when it’s fiction. Part of fiction might be the truth, part of it made up, but I’m reading it as the author’s imagination at work (or play). This is not to say when you write memoir or essays that you don’t use fictional devices – dialog, setting, action, etc. – but these devices are shaping what really happened. I write both fiction and non-fiction, and they are very, very different.

How does one find trusted readers? First of all, not in your own family (there are always exceptions, I know). The best way to find them is to take a writing class or a workshop, then watch and listen to how others give feedback. When you find someone who is honest and smart and generous in his or her feedback, see if they want a writing buddy – to either meet in person or send work back and forth via email.  It really is important to have trusted readers. When we write we can lose all perspective and we need a pair of fresh eyes. If you’re not in a workshop, try to find other friends who are writing. You’ll be in the same boat and more understanding of what you both had to go through to get words on the page. Good feedback, no matter how critical, should make you want to race to your desk and get back to work because it mirrors the positive in your writing as well as what needs to be cut or rewritten. I have five trusted readers I always ask to read a book before sending it to my agent. And once I get my confidence up, I ask other friends, non-writers, to read for more general reactions.

What do I love about being a writer? I love the process of trying to pull the mess and chaos of my life into shape and meaning. I love (as well as despair over) the challenge of this, the seeming impossibility of it, and then the miracle of finally finishing an essay that makes sense, or a book that other people read and connect with. I love connecting with other people on a deeper level – letting them into my experiences or imagination without all the superficial b.s.of the real world. And I love being able to wear sweats and bedroom slippers to work.

How are you going to write through the weddings?  I think this question is really a metaphor about writing through real life, including the big events. (As I’ve posted earlier on this blog, we have four family weddings coming up this year – three this summer.)  What’s more important than my daughter’s wedding? My brother’s wedding? Nothing. To write about life is always a juggling act for writers – we need solitude and time and we also need to be in the thick of things. All you can do sometimes is take notes.